InvitationsHow to address an invitation
The name written on the envelope tells the guest exactly who is invited. Get it right and nobody has to ask the awkward question, "Is this for all of us?" Get it wrong and a brother feels left out or an uncle feels slighted over a missing "Shri". These are the common cases, in plain terms.
The one rule
Write on the envelope everyone you are inviting, and nobody you are not. The envelope, not the card inside, carries the personal invitation. Everything else is detail.
A whole household
The usual Indian form names the head of the family and adds "and family":
- Shri Ramesh Gupta and family
- Mr and Mrs Ramesh Gupta and family
- श्री रमेश गुप्ता एवं परिवार
- श्री रमेश गुप्ता जी सपरिवार
- ਸ. ਹਰਜੀਤ ਸਿੰਘ ਅਤੇ ਪਰਿਵਾਰ
"And family", "sapariwar" or "with family" means everyone who lives in that house. If married sons or daughters live separately, they are separate households and each receives a card of their own.
A couple only
- Mr and Mrs Ramesh Gupta
- Ramesh and Sunita Gupta
- श्री एवं श्रीमती रमेश गुप्ता
Leaving out "and family" tells the guests, politely, that the invitation is for the two of them. If seats are limited, say so in a kind line inside the invitation or by phone. Wording for that is in special lines to add.
One person
- Ms Priya Sharma
- Dr Arvind Mehta
- Shri Mohan Lal ji
If a single guest may bring someone, write "and guest". If you know the name of the partner, write both names. It is warmer than "and guest".
Elders
Use the respectful form your family uses in speech. In Hindi cards and envelopes, "श्री", "श्रीमती", "जी" and, for the very senior, "आदरणीय" or "पूज्य" are usual. In Punjabi, "ਸ." (Sardar), "ਸਰਦਾਰਨੀ", "ਸ਼੍ਰੀ" and "ਜੀ". In English, "Shri" and "Smt." or "Mr" and "Mrs". When a widowed grandmother heads the household, the envelope is addressed to her by name.
Titles and professions
- Use "Dr" for doctors and those with doctorates who use the title.
- For armed forces officers, serving or retired, write the rank as they use it, such as "Col. R. S. Gill (Retd.)".
- For judges, professors, religious heads and officials, use the title they are known by. If unsure, ask a mutual friend. It is better to ask than to guess.
Colleagues and business contacts
- To invite one colleague with their family, send it to their home name: "Mr Anil Verma and family".
- To invite a whole office or department, one card to "The staff of Accounts Department" or to the head "and team" is accepted practice. Follow it with a message in the office group.
- For a client or a senior, use the full name with "Mr", "Ms" or "Shri", and deliver or send it personally, not through a peon.
Friends
Friends can be addressed the way you speak to them: "Rohit and Meera", "Simran". If their parents are also invited, send a separate card to the parents by name. One envelope reading "Rohit and family" should not be asked to cover two generations you know separately.
Children
"And family" includes the children. For a children's birthday party the invitation is addressed to the child, and it helps to say whether parents and siblings are welcome too. For a function without children, do not write it on the envelope. Say it in a gentle line inside or, better, in person.
Writing the envelope
- Write by hand, in a good pen, in clear letters. A handwritten name is a small mark of respect.
- Use the language the guest reads most easily. Many families write Hindi or Punjabi for elders and English for others.
- Check the spelling of each name against the guest list. People forgive a late card sooner than a misspelt name.
- For cards sent by post, write the full postal address and PIN code, and your own address on the back.
- If the printer prints the names, check a sample sheet first.
The same rule on the phone
A WhatsApp invitation has no envelope, so the first line does the envelope's work. Begin with the name and say who is invited: "Namaste Gupta uncle, we would love to have you, aunty and the children with us on..." The habits that keep phone invitations personal are in inviting on WhatsApp.
When you are unsure
- Unsure whether a couple have separated, or whether a relative has passed away? Ask someone close before writing the envelope.
- Unsure of a title or a spelling? Ask the person. Nobody minds being asked how they like their name written.
- Unsure whether to invite the whole family or the couple? Decide by the size of your function, then apply the same rule to everyone at the same distance, on both sides.